


2

by Lame_Writer



Series: Abandonment issues [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Anger, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Big Gay Love Story, Boys In Love, Crush at First Sight, Daddy Issues, Family Issues, Fight or Flight, First Love, Friendship/Love, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Movie: IT (2017), Panicking Richie Tozier, Paranoia, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, True Love, Trust Issues, Yelling, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:41:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26055877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lame_Writer/pseuds/Lame_Writer
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Abandonment issues [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891402
Kudos: 8





	2

The question almost made Richie choke on his food, he cleared his throat and let out a dry chuckle. Shaking his head for a moment and turning his head to bill."

"It was nothing I promi—" Richie began hoping a lie would let him slip though the cracks of their worry and suspicion, hoping that he didn't need to explain what happened without breaking down 'like a little bitch' he told himself as he let out another dry chuckle through his little talk. 

"That's-thats bul-bullshit and you know it Richie" bill snapped at Richie becfoee he could even finish his sentence, seeing right through his little lie as he only emphasized his question again. Eyes on Richie, feelings like pins and needles though his body as it began to slightly tremble under the sudden harsh pressure even if they were just worried about him. He wasn't used to opening up to people after trying to open up and it always backfired soon after, he made it a point, a goal, a want to never open up again after that.

Shyly tipping his head back, his skin scattered with goosebumps, his smile fading away and a frown secured on his features as he moved his head back to look at his friends who were deathly silent, he was prey to the predators of the suspicions and cries that made his throat burn. He opened his mouth slightly, raising his finger before lowering it slowly out of the feeling of chills rolling down his spine, the dream still playing in his mind over and over in a painful loop. His mind was cluttered with anxious pleads of something to happen, a distraction at least. But sadly that never came, it only made the anxiety that lingered in the small group grow, the silence being unlike Richie. After a few moments again, Eddie spoke. 

"He doesn't have to tell us now, he might still be trying to understand it, just-just let him eat first" it sounded broken and rushed but it was sincere in its own tone. Richie let out a sigh of relief, his lungs no longer feeling encaged in a strong brutal grasp, his eyes were drawn to the slightly damp dark green patch of grass next to him, his unnoticeable shaking was slowly getting more out of hand, the others parted to gather around the bags nearby, once he was sure he was at least not noticed, he stared at his shaky arms while mentally, hearing their laughter and chatter slowly being a mere murmur to dead silence that banged in his eardrums, his shaky breaths become more rapid, his chest felt as if a heavy fire was burning inside him, the painful feeling he should've tried to ignore, the moment he felt the first bit of sting it bursted to life, a lit match falling on gasoline. His breaths grew him weary, his weariness made him cough and wheeze. Smoke began to come out of his mouth as he coughed, thick dark gray clouds of smoke running out of his trembling mouth as he could barely speak, he looked to see his friends a blur a first then all staring at him, emotionless, empty, hollow, more tears sputtered from his eyes as he felt as if he were having the nightmare all over again, banging at the side of his temples harshly, hoping that somehow he would just wake up. He felt all around him shaky, it was a harsh shaking that made his body go limp as he tried to look around, his friends still looking hollow and motionless yet their eyes all were glued to him, on their knees and always watching. They didn't speak, didn't even move, the only thing that did move however was their eyes. His coughing and wheezing felt worse and worse the more he lingered wherever the hell he was, trying to scream which only lead to more smoke to escape his mouth as it made him choke and gag at it all. It wasn't until a harsh ring ran through his head that his eyes shot open fast, his forehead dripping with sweat, and tears streaming down his face once again, and just like before everyone was crowded around him, even more anxious and worried than before. 

Was that just a -

His thoughts were cut off by an on-slow of worried voices all talking to him at once, not even giving him a second think let alone react. They all pretty much said the same thing, though hard to make out, all richie heard was rambled nonsense. Bills voice rose and the others softened and silenced themselves as the leader looked at the shaking boy dead in the eyes, clearly in fear himself. 

"This is the second t-ti-me you've done this, an-and it's when you were asleep ! We-We-We" his stutter caused a minor delay as he muttered to himself something, and then continued after a few seconds of silence. 

"We left for a minute and Eddie screams, we see you coughing wh-whe-wheezing, crying, we tried waking you up at first and it didn't work but now your awake p-please tell us what happened" his voice sounded soft, like a mother to her child, sweet and caring yet that wasn't enough for Richie to trust them. A cold breeze hit the air, for a summer morning it was colder than the usual. The gentle grip of hands on his shoulders was the only thing keeping his mind in reality and not the he'll he called his dreams. Very one was silent, almost anticipating a shrug of shoulders and a wave of a hand dismissively as per usual of Richie; however, that never came. 

He let out a heavy sigh, it sounded like all his pain in a single breath. Scratching the back of his head, light-headed and dazed as he began to speak. 

"It was just a shitty dream, I promise ok?" He mumbled, as the questions piled up on him with an avalanche of anxiety counseling through him. 

"Look ok?! It was just a bad dream ! Just. A bad. DREAM. it was about someone but that's all you need to fucking know !" He snapped, and when he yoke fell silent, faces pale and worried, their silence seemingly more painful than their paranoid eyes and words gashing through his shaky for,, people tried to comfort him but he soon turned back to "the old Richie" only Eddie being able to get close enough to lay the side of his face on Richies shoulder, richie froze on the spot but enjoyed the attention from the other and chuckled, settling down and silently talking the others conversation. Pain was numbing slowly as he caught his breath, everyone feeling the tension of regret linger in the air. 

' way to go trashmouth you really fucked up this time '


End file.
